And sometimes you put on lingerie and you DON'T feel yourself: Unfilitered 4
Hey there Reader-
So….I’m getting the sense that we can be more honest with each other. Can I go there with you today? OK, fuck yeah. Let’s go there. Triple dog dare.
I remember watching a stand up special with my gal Amy Schumer where she relayed a story about her experience trying on lingerie. To paraphrase, she took the set home which she claimed to be the “real shit”, and verbatim, took a pirouette around the mirror and said, “ohhhhhh…..this is not for everybody.” Well, I had that exact same experience the other night when I took home a savage set of lingerie from a galentine’s secret gift exchange.
I had said to my friends earlier that night, “ It’s so weird. I will pop lock and drop it in a sports bra in front of 100 + people, but the thought of putting on lingerie or feeling sexy in lingerie makes me feel WILDLY uncomfortable.” Clearly, I manifested that fear so deep in my body that close to a generous 30 minutes after we finished cat walking, I scrammed to the car, called my sister, Jamie, and BALLED my eyes out. She was surprised to hear this from me, as she said according to instagram, I give the impression that I am super comfortable with my body. I receive praise for this often. Well my friends, I think it’s time that I tell you that a career shift is on the horizon and yes, I am a magician of facade.
Through the power of ILLUSION, I have created the idea that I am comfortable in my body simply because I sometimes pose half naked on instagram or wear a sports bra when teaching a class. Hilarious isn’t it?! I think it’s quite brilliant, thank you. I started doing this about 4 years ago when I began teaching at BurnCycle and Yoyoyogi to trick my body into thinking I was comfortable with where it was at all times. I do believe strongly in the messages I relay about body image, and I mean it when I say that I teach to level with my students and their struggles, not to be above them. But if you have taken my class and you have assumed that I must be comfortable enough with my body to be half naked in a blistering hot room, joke’s on you, my friend. This is very much an intentional strategy I use to confront the reality that is my body; even on my most dysmorphic days where I am looking in the mirror and I feel like all I want to do is vanish and crawl out of it. Wearing a sports bra even on my most BLOATED days helps me appreciate my natural body, even if it’s temporary. I think to myself, “well, I can’t do anything about it today, so I might as well show it. Rolls and all.” After reading this, you might decide that I am delusional, and guess what?! You’re not wrong, but I offer a different perspective especially to those of you who have never struggled with body image (but seriously if you’re one of those people, how? I really want to know). I have struggled with body dysmorphia since the age of 12. I do what I have to do under the circumstance to show my body that I value it every day. It has been and I believe always will remain some of the hardest work I have to do.
So...yoga. You’re over there thinking, “ Dana I’m sorry, this is all good and well and such great discoveries but what does lingerie have to do with yoga?” As it turns out, quite a lot. Level of comfort with our bodies dictates how we feel on our mats. Multiple factors have influenced this, but specifically western culture has made many of us feel that the natural disposition of our body is not qualified enough to practice yoga. That we aren’t flexible enough, balanced enough, thin enough, not enough. Period. NEWSFLASH: EVERY BODY is a yoga body. There are no prerequisites, no qualifiers, no nothing. Just you and the peace you are looking for in pursuit of a practice that adds value to your life without needing to look a certain way to feel successful. So let me ask you, how can you value your body today? What conversations are you having with your body to ensure it feels safe and important enough. That it feels valued enough. Maybe write a post- it and put it on the mirror in your bathroom. Maybe dance around naked. Maybe turn your screen on once in a virtual yoga class (please dear god, don’t be naked for that). Or maybe, you do none of those things but you simply find the space to just say “thank you, body, for getting me to where I am today. Oh, how I love you so.”
Until Next time,
Dana A. Spitz
